We had an assignment just now to write out, in less than 100 words, what we would say to a dude who is standing at the parapet and about to jump to his death. It is a given a fact that he WILL jump. We had to write from the point of view of a friend who doesn't know him very well and just happened to look for him to return a borrowed book. This is what I wrote:

Singaporean Version (i.e both people on 20th storey of HDB flat) - In Singlish, cannot be translated

Eh Beng ah! Wassup man! You jumping ah?? SHEEEEEEEEET. Eh not my fault ah! I oni wan to return your book. You know you jump sure mati right? If dun mati must go hospital leh. Your mudder already have to give tuition 5 time a week you tink got mahney for doctor issit? Vely ex leh! Summore polyclinic queue damn long, you sure mati before you see doctor. Wah piang eh, then your girrfriend how? Wheeweet (wolf whistles). I take can not? Eh Beng ah! Behind got naked woman! See See! Hurry, she going already! Walau eh, shiok man!


So what if 3/4 of the class didn't get it??
So what if I looked like a retard spewing Singlish to an audience of three?
It's worth it man! Cos...

SINGAPORE ONE, INDIA NIL.
MAJULAH SINGAPURA.